오 집사님 간증 [비디오]

다음은 오집사님의 간증을 영어로 번 역한 것입니다. (by Joe C.)

Before I begin, I would first like to give all praise and glory to God,
who guided and protected me through 14 years of sobriety.
And I thank Dr. Hong and his wife for having a compassionate heart
and continuing through hard times and not giving up on this ministry.
I also thank everybody here and I want give a message of encouragement to all of us
who share the hope of recovery and new life. All of us are together in strength, hope, and courage.
14 years clean- that must mean I’ve been clean from all mind altering drugs, including alcohol.
So for 14 years I’ve been drinking nothing but water…
For me, sobriety meant more than just abstaining from alcohol.
The direction of my life, my habits, thought process, life style, etc.
It meant a complete change in every corner of my life.
I was not alone in this process. It wouldn’t have been possible if I had been alone.
And that is all the more reason why God, Dr. Hong and his wife,
and you guys mean so much to me and my life.
With all of this help, God allowed me to stay sober and clear minded for the past 14 years.
And to maintain sobriety, I spent those 14 years trying to live by new principles.
During that time I had to focus on honesty more than I had ever done in all 60 years of my life.
And I spent that period of my life learning about the meaning of humility, sacrifice,
and love with my head, my mind, and through my actions.
Of course by no means did I achieve perfect humility, sacrifice, or love in my life.
What I got was the realization of the value of living such a life,
and the opportunity to start living that life.
I want to give thanks, praise, and glory to God again, for holding on to me, leading me,
and protecting me so I can live the life like the man he created me to be.

God lead me to a Korean A.A. Fellowship after I had completely gone astray and
was going through the toughest period of my life. He let me meet Dr. Hong and his wife.
I was reborn in Christ, and I was no longer living just in the physical sense.
I experienced a spiritual awakening, and I was given a new life through the Holy Spirit.
God used Dr. Hong to lead me to the gospel and I was blessed with the redemption of eternal life.
I was completely lost in life. I was like a blind man, not knowing right from left. I could no longer tell what was the truth and what was not. I was living aimlessly, feeling no sense of reward,
and enslaved to my sensuality. When I look back, I realize how pathetic and sad of a life I was living.

My foolishness and flaws are so great I cannot even begin to describe. But to someone like me,
God showed me love and gave me His wisdom.
God treated my disease, allowed me to recover, awakened my spirituality, helped me mature,
and find out what the meaning of life is, and what I should do with my life.
I was doomed to die, but God gave me salvation and granted me eternal life.
2 Corinthians 5:16-17 This verse really touched my heart and filled me with joy.
Therefore, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away,
new things have come.
If anyone is in Christ, he will be renewed. ANYONE.

My life was like a dirty used mop. A piece of garbage.
There was nothing about me that could be recycled to be of any good use.
When I looked at how my life had fallen apart, I completely gave up on any restoration.
I went on living finding relief each day from the satisfaction of making a little bit of money,
drinking, marijuana, women… My spirit was tied down in a dark place, and my soul, and even my face, had turned black. When I was walking this path of destruction Jesus came to find me and
he told me that I can be reborn into a new creation,
and everything in my past has been done away with.
The world shined its lights on my mistakes and short comings. Judged me, criticized me,
and stepped all over me. However, God, the creator of this world,
 accepted all of my flaws and covered up all of my sins. This was the love and grace God gave me,
and those are some of the only things I have I can be proud of.

When I finally made it to A.A., it was not by my own will. I was required by law to attend meetings.
March 1995. It was about 3 o’clock in the morning.
The rest of the world was fast asleep as it was drizzling outside.
There was barely anybody on the freeway. Drunk out of my mind, I left a bar in Korean Town.
I was driving down the wet and slippery 10 freeway at a very fast speed.
I was in my 4 Runner jeep heading east. I was so intoxicated,
the only thing I was still aware of at this point was the blasting music in my car.
A while later, I felt like the car was slipping and sliding, then I felt like I hit something
and then abruptly came to a stop. I’m not sure how much time went by,
but when I finally regained consciousness, my car was flipped over
and I was hanging upside down by my seat belt.
Half conscious, I barely made it out of the car. Leaving my wrecked car behind,
I began to walk down the Grand Ave ramp in the rain.
I’m not sure how much time went by. It couldn’t have been that long. Still drunk out of my mind,
I was sitting on the curb when two police vehicles pulled up.
After questioning me for a while they put hand cuffs on me and arrested me.
That was my 3rd DUI. As a result I was court ordered to participate in a 30/30 Program.
I only had 2 months left in my probation for the 2nd DUI.
This was my sentence.
30 days of jail time and 30 months in an alcohol program.
And of course I would have to bear the financial cost of all of this.
There was the loan payment balance on the car I totaled, the penalties
and cost of the alcohol programs,
 the fee of the interlock device in my vehicle- altogether it came up to be over $35,000.
And my license was taken away for 3 years before I could apply for a new one.
The plan God had for reforming my life had a harsh beginning. It’s true when they say nothing in free. Even the salvation we received was at the cost of Jesus’ life. This newly reformed life was painstaking.
I went to jail to do my 30 days, but luckily I was released after only doing 2 days.
But instead I had to take part in cal trans. I was ordered to work
from 6 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon cleaning highways, trimming trees alongside roads,
and helping out at homeless shelters doing dishes and cleaning.
I had to sign up for an alcohol program and attend it weekly. I had to keep a diary, do the 12 steps,
report my daily activities, make a compendium, and submit all of this to my probation officer.
And I had to attend A.A. meetings for 3 years.
As I began to take care of all of these requirements, all of my thoughts were focused on
how I could skip out of them. How I could find a short cut or an easy way out of.
Maybe I could pay somebody off?
Maybe I could get  someone else to do this for me?
Of maybe I could say I’m sick and provide false documentation?

Starting May of that year I began to attend A.A. meetings. But I continued to act like I was different
from anyone else. And for about a month I kept my mouth shut.
Then during one meeting I came to accept that I am an alcoholic and took my first step in recovery.
And for the first time I  began to share my feelings at these meetings.
When I would share my experiences, I could not help but to weep.
I finally decided to become sober and clean on June 10.
Come to find out that day is actually the day A.A. was formed. That made it feel more special to me.

 
At one of these meetings I met Dr. Hong and he introduced me to Grace Korean Church.
I began attending every service, I could not help but shed tears. Tears of repentance.
Because I was crying everytime I went to church, I told myself I would not come back.
But each time, I continued to come back each week.
When I think about that I realize how powerless I am before God’s power and love.
At that time I was living with a woman I met in a bar.
I was living confused in agony, regret, shame, and resentment.
Plus I was constantly drunk and high off marijuana, so I was not able to make the right decision.
I was just going with the flow. I felt like my life was so heavy like a cotton ball soaked with water. I
 couldn’t even attempt to try to manage or solve all of the issues I incurred in life.
Only think I could do was blame myself for what I did. I could not find any help.

But somehow I became friends with the people I met in A.A. And I started to find strength
through worship, praise, and prayer and Bible studies.
God let me know what I should do through Romans 12:1-3
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies
as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Humble Service in the Body of Christ
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you:
Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

This passage gave me very clear instructions.
Stop following my will and living by the ways of this world. Instead, follow God’s will,
His righteous and holy will for me. I was to stop relying on my own thoughts and intellect,
and to know how flawed my way of thinking is.
My attitude toward life began to change. The concept behind my actions changed.
I went from a guy who would smoke marijuana while cleaning the freeway for cal trans,
to the hardest working person there, soaking with sweat from picking up trash.
Everyone else laughed at me saying you don’t have to work so hard.
You don’t get paid for working hard. But, I sincerely repented for my past sins
and I worked with this heart while praying.

I worked hard at all of the things the court ordered me to do.
The homework from the alcohol p